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So I was in Brick Lane's big vintage clothing shop (just about to buy this hat which was maybe not perfect but quite fancy like one of those big black) and speakers were going crazy with one of those bands which you cannot remember the name but has something to do with cold mountains and cheap cassettes when my phone rang and I heard some foreign voice asking me if I can focus pull for them from friday to sunday - just when i am in berlin. and the tickets are bought and everybody is waiting so i said, no I am sorry i am in berlin (you know this beautiful city with art on the streets with graffiti made by painters and the cinema where Frank Griebe used to be a projectionist, where he met Tom Tykwer for the first time. And yes it is in Kreuzberg), but listen if you will have something else keep me in mind.

Focus pulling makes me so focused. It is one of those things I am very good at, turning the wheel and holding my breath, looking at the actors, checking the stops, lenses (the depth of field table after India focus pulling are practically written in my head). I know the tricks I am learning the marks. It is just your eyes and the distances the actors the predictions the strategy. It makes me quiet calm and very very focused. Soft when I press the buttons without a movement just to keep the camera ideally stable. It is just me the tape measure the small LCD screen the white ring a pencil (i prefer using a pencil, very sharp, for the marks, it is very easy to remove with a bit of cleaning liquid).
I love it.

But I said no, I am sorry, and came back to the store, just when the speakers were dying and wind blew away the hat.

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It made me feel it is possible again, two phone calls after one week in London only, to do the most beautiful job in the world, and I backed up from putting bar applications, not yet, I said to myself, wait till next Tuesday, and do not give up. I can save money on the food and be hungry but I will make it.